The Beginner’s Guide to Time Boundaries: The Why and the How
Time is very tricky: you can spend it and waste it but never really save it.
You can’t make it up. Once a Saturday night is gone, it’s over. Once a Tuesday morning on the couch with coffee is done, then it becomes a Tuesday afternoon.
Many products are advertised as “time savers,” but that is just automation. It’s allowing something, or someone, else to do work that you would normally do yourself so you can spend your time doing something else of more value.
When you start to think about time, you start thinking about the future, and inevitably, about death. So you may ask yourself those uncomfortable questions like “Does anything I do really matter?” or “What am I doing with my life?”
The only remedy that I have found for this is to make every moment meaningful. Not in a Hallmark Holiday card way, but finding meaning in every part of your day.
Here are four ways I have done that:
First, find meaning in the main thing you do, your job. If you constantly feel like your job is meaningless, that is one-third of your life that you spend for someone else to live their dream. However, if there are aspects of your career where you still find fulfillment and meaning, then make the most of those parts. Live them to the fullest, and strive to be the best at them. That’ll make the rest of the day worth the time.
Second, be non-negotiable with your time. I have had days where I have been so involved in a project that I have forgotten to eat or take my dog out. While that sounds like the sort of noble sacrifice perpetrated by hustle culture, how fair was that to my dog? If it was a child, I’d be accused of being neglectful. When it’s time to stop, stop. Take the break, take care of yourself, and spend time with family and friends. If you have to work extra, make sure the work is worth the time it’s taking away.
My system is a mixture of the Pomodoro system and dividing my day into 3 hour blocks. I work for 25 minutes, and then have a five minute break to drink water and check social media. Every three hours I get up and move, eat something small, and pay attention to my dog for at least 15 minutes. At 12pm is a one hour Lunch, and at 4pm is a 30 minute fika.
Because I have built in these systems for rest, I get more done during the day then if I were fighting fatigue or brain fog because I’ve been grinding for the last four hours.
In the same vein, when it’s time to work, focus on the work. Don’t get distracted by social media or phone alerts. I use a phone app called Forest and a Mac App called Self-Control for help. If you get into a situation that you can’t puzzle out, do some light exercise (burpees or take a walk), drink some water, and journal or meditate. Do not escape your reality when things get complicated; allow your mind the time to figure out a solution.
Third, if it isn’t a “hell yes,” it’s a “hell no.” If you are asked to be part of something and have no interest in being part of it, just tell the person no. I even wrote a letter that you can use to do so. There is nothing worse than asking someone to be part of something and then getting the “I’m not sure,” “I can try, but I can’t guarantee,” or the “Maybe.”
As Teddy on Bob’s Burgers so eloquently put it, “I got 42 Maybes, Bob! How am I supposed to plan for that?!”
Lastly, do not multitask. Multitasking is the most significant time waste of all. For example, don’t walk the dog and play a game on your phone. Instead, focus on your dog, on being outside, and enjoying the moment. Likewise, don’t work on an important email while chatting with your boss or coworker. You will find that you’ll have to go back and retype entire sections because the two conversations crossed over. Instead, focus on one task, get it done, then go to the next. Focusing actually helps enable flow state, which makes your time feel better spent.
Why is all of this so important? Taking your breaks, being focused at work, and not falling for distractions is how you show respect for your time. The more you respect your time, the more you control your time. Imagine knowing that every moment you’ve got is a moment that is worth having. That is next-level peace of mind.
